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Ask the Right Questions

June 8, 2016


With a busy day, we are constantly in a hustle and bustle, even after we clock out of work. When we see our partner or our children, we get out the, "How was your day?," question, expecting to hear that the day was fine. We don't really think too deeply about hearing another type of answer, or even a negative answer. We just assume that the day is like every other day because we are stuck in our cyclical pattern and schedule of our hustle and bustle. What if the real answer was not "okay" or "fine"? To some degree, I believe we have conditioned our self to hear and accept that as the answer, even if that person tells us otherwise. At times, I hear people say, "well, you are going to be alright", or "just brush it off", or "sleep on it", like that really addresses the issue. We are so wrapped up in our world, that we forget to address a person's real feelings, or even identify our real feelings. When we do this, we push that other person away and diminish unknowingly the trust factor. Taking time out to ask extra questions such as, "What was the height of your day? Did you have any low moments?  What did you learn today? Who did you play with today? Did you talk to any of your coworkers?", can help to encourage more communication and thoughtful disclosure. Also, those extra, potentially nagging questions, lets someone else know that they are important, and you are willing to stop your hustle and bustle to make time for them. This type of communication helps build trust, intimacy, and positive attachment. 



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